Submission

Women’s roles at Bethlehem Baptist Church are hard to define. While women are very active members of the church, they are not permitted to be pastors or elders, because that would require teaching and having authority over men. Instead, they participate in the organization as administrators, childcare workers, and leaders of women’s groups. Pastor Meyer explained in a sermon: “Women’s Bible Studies are different than other Bible studies because men and women are different. Women’s Bible studies have more of a relational element because that is the way God wired women.”

Both former pastors Meyer and Piper frequently pointed out Scriptural evidence showing the differences between men and women, particularly Genesis 2:18, in which it is described that God created wives to be helpers for man. Similarly, the role of women in marriage is defined by Ephesians 5:23, which states: “The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.”

"Submission is not slavish or coerced or cowering…[but instead] free and willing and glad and refining and strengthening." - John Piper 

John Piper defines submission as “the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.” Submission means to be filled with the Holy Spirit, through which hope in God leads to fearlessness, leading to “inner tranquility and meekness.” Piper quickly points out that “submission is not slavish or coerced or cowering…[but instead] free and willing and glad and refining and strengthening.” Just as men are warned against comparisons to Christ in headship, women are cautioned against submitting to their husbands in an idolatrous manner. Treason or idolatry takes place if a woman’s allegiance is to her husband first, rather than Christ. Piper notes that “submission to Jesus relativizes submission to husbands.”

Submission, in practical application, means that women ultimately defer to their husband’s decisions. That doesn’t mean that women are not allowed to disagree or present alternate opinions; it simply means that the husband takes the wife’s suggestions into account in the decision-making process, but makes the final call. Piper, using the covenant metaphor, explains that “husbands ought to want their wives to be excited about the family decisions since Christ wants the church to be excited about following his decisions and not just follow begrudgingly.”

Wives that submit are still encouraged to seek the transformation of their husbands, although they must do so “while respecting him as her head - her leader, protector, and provider.” Although women may express their opinions within their marriages, Piper warns against nagging. In a caution to wives against demanding, Piper says, “Demanding is contradictory to the very thing for which you long...If you become the demander, he’s not the leader.”

While Bethlehem’s model of biblical headship and submission assigns men the primary responsibility for decision-making, women have their own responsibilities. Piper described marriage, motherhood, and home management as the central commitments of a woman’s life. Marriage is “the joyful support of a husband and his calling as you display the relationship between Christ and the church,” motherhood is “ the transmission of a God-centered, Christ-treasuring vision of life to your children,” and home management is “the creation of a beautiful and simple place and living organism which becomes a refuge of Christ’s peace and launching pad for God’s righteousness.” Working outside the home part-time or full-time is considered acceptable, as long as these core commitments are not compromised.

In every sphere of women’s lives, Bethlehem emphasizes the centrality of God. A woman has allegiance to Christ first, before and above her husband. Piper describes the biblical goal of a woman’s life as “[expressing] the all-satisfying greatness and trustworthiness of God.” Women are also warned against putting themselves above God, especially in terms of “excessive preoccupation with figure and hair and complexion.”

Sermons and webpages the above work is based on: 

John Piper, “The Beautiful Faith of Fearless Submission,” Desiring God, April 15, 2007, https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/the-beautiful-faith-of-fearless-submission. 

John Piper, “Marriage: Pursuing Conformity to Christ in the Covenant,” Desiring God, February 25, 2007, https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/marriage-pursuing-conformity-to-christ-in-the-covenant. 

John Piper, “Women of Valor for Non-Promise Keepers,” Desiring God, September 4, 1994, https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/women-of-valor-for-non-promise-keepers. 

John Piper, “Honoring the Biblical Call of Motherhood,” Desiring God, May 8, 2005, https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/honoring-the-biblical-call-of-motherhood. 

John Piper, “Her Body, Her Self, and Her God,” Desiring God, October 28, 1997, https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/her-body-her-self-and-her-god.